Calling Myself a Solo Parent

When people start to pry over my personal background to know me better, they tend to ask if I am single, married, separated or a single mom. Since I am legally married but separated, I often find myself having a difficult time answering. And most of the time, I find myself explaining the situation.

After being faced with the same question over and over again, I have finally decided to adopt the word "solo parent." Since I am still legally married, the term "single mom" doesn't technical fits me. I maybe alone in upbringing my children but I am not "single" as the law sees me. Here in our place, when you say "single" they usually think your unmarried. So, I started using the term "solo parent" since it signifies me being a mom and dad at the same time to my kids. If I use the term "separated," I felt that I am leaving my role as a mom behind. But when I say I am a "solo parent," it immediately signifies that I am "solo" and is raising kids. It easily answers their questions. Aside from that, I don't have any difficulties explaining myself to them. Just plain and simple!

Anyway, I really don’t know why I am being so technical about the terms that I used when referring to myself or how my status in life is. I somehow felt that maybe I just want to simplify things. My past has been a real messy one that I want my present and future to be simple and as much as possible smooth. Or maybe, I am just too tired explaining myself to other people. Answering "solo parent" somehow makes me feel that it finishes the probing.

Back Here Again After Two Years of Missing in Action

I started this blog way back September of 2011. My intention was to blog about what goes in and out of my mind. To help me remember all the thoughts that crossed my mind as I aimlessly wander in this world. But unfortunately, as you can see, there are two years missing from this blog – 2012 and 2013. Why? What happened? If you have time, then let me fill you in…

After a few months since this blog went online, I decided to transfer it to Wordpress. I won a hosting so I thought maybe I can maximize my winnings by transferring this blog and monetize it. Unfortunately, after awhile, the domain and the hosting expired. So, I just let the blog die a natural death (bad blog momma me!). 

Then 2012 came and it was not a good year for me. It was a devastating year that I went to a semi-depression stage. I rarely go out and I just stay at home and work. I was nowhere to be found in the offline and online blogging community. I was missing in action. Reason? Well, my husband and I broke up for the second time. Though it was devastating, I have found closure after a few months. I went on an “almost” one month vacation away from my family to think and ponder. Thank God, I was able to snap out of it gradually.

2013 was quite a mess. I thought going back to the corporate world will help me move on faster. So I went back to work. After four months of my working stint, I decided to resign. I got lonely because my work is travel related (though I have to talk to a lot of people). I don’t like staying alone in the hotel and missing my kids. Aside from that, my butt got stressed from the travel and in general, I got sick as well. 

After being jobless and lesser to no racket online, I was a few pennies away to becoming penniless for almost 3 to 4 months. I lost my one and only active credit card due to non-payment. All my income went to food, utility bills and school because aside from my kids, I also went back to school. But before 2013 ended, I found a job. Thank God for VSF, I found an awesome job that pays enough to cover our daily needs. Though I have my credit facilities messed up already, I am just thankful that I can now repay them little by little.

Then 2014 came, and my messed up brain kept telling me to open up a new blog to vent out - the kind of venting out when I started way back in 2007 with my very first blog. A space wherein I can just blog and blog all I want. I can’t do it anymore in my monetized blog. I felt that my thoughts are no longer appropriate there. Most of my monetized blog are professionally made descent. Hahaha… I felt that blogging about my own personal life doesn’t fit there. 

I decided to make a new blog at blogger.com and buy a domain but after searching for an appropriate domain, I found myself tinkering back here again. I felt that this blog really is meant to be for this purpose. Luckily when I searched for its old domain, it was available. I got it immediately via Godaddy Coupon Code IAP199 to get a COM domain for $1.99 plus ICANN fees. After a few minutes of setting up, now we are back live and I am filling you in with what happened in the past two years!

So, how about you guys? What happened in the past two years? Did you get a new blog too?

Moved Away

For the past two days, I got involved in a Facebook group discussion about blogging and giveaway postings. As for me, I believe that participating in such discussion is a healthy way of imparting knowledge and learning as well. But after a few exchanges, what I thought was a healthy discussion turned a little soar because of some sarcastic remarks. And because of that, I decided to stop commenting and move away.

Not that I was wrong and they were right (vice versa) but because there were too much negativism already. The aura of the discussion turned to an avenue of mockery. My mom once told me, “daghan estorya, daghan sayop (too much talk, too many mistake).” So if you continue a discussion that is becoming unhealthy, you might say something that you might regret because you have said it out of hate or ego.

So for short, my two days dragged me to the pits! Because whenever I am surrounded with negative energies, I can’t help it but feel physically down. I felt tired and always want to sleep. Therefore for two days, I was in front of the computer, working yes but physically drained to bits. I felt that I was not being a Productive Pinoy.

Anyway, the question is... shall I continue participating with such discussions in the near future? Well, all I can say for now is yes… as long as I am talking to people who are open-minded willing to take in and out without being cynical. But not all days are the same, I might evolved to someone who throws stone instead of bread. LOL!!